A blog that is all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-powerful. Now that you have visited it your soul is mine. Bwa ha ha ha ha

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I Receive My First Pilgrim

I received my first pilgrim. Miss Chief traveled from Pittsburgh, I'm pretty sure on her knees while uttering prayers the whole way, to spend the weekend. Unfortunately, there is no stream running through the Kingdom of the Heaven of Unit Six in which she could cleanse herself, except for the bathtub (which has jets, so it's pretty cool), but my presence is enough for healing, cleansing, etc.--all your basic spiritual and pilgrimage needs.

Although the Kingdom of the Heaven of Unit Six, as has been previously explained, does not exist in the mortal realm, if it did exist in the mortal realm it would be located in Washington, DC. I lead Miss Chief on a pilgrimage to the monuments that have been raised to me (and fine, perhaps some presidents as well).

I travel in style in a pleather mini-backpack.

Yeah, I know it's like eight years out of date but what can I do? My acolyte is hopeless.

First I dwarfed the Washington Monument with my stature and also with my beauty.

Then Miss Chief and I had a long heart to heart at the Monument with Lincoln in the background. I gave her advice on all aspects of her life. At the end of it she wept a little and vowed undying devotion. I believe her first act upon returning home to Pittsburgh was to erect a shrine to me in her home and illuminate it with an eternal flame that she will tend eternally.

1 comment:

sofagirl said...

All and Powerful Gretchen, maybe your acolyte will let you travel in the new "pucci"esque clutch. I think your glorious radiant head might tuck nicely out the side...
Just a thought? lol