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Thursday, January 11, 2007

iFAQ #2

Why don't you have any companion deities? I'm sure a pretty little goddess like you could get a hunky man-deity of your own.

Pretty? Little? It's gorgeous and intimidating to you, buster. Gretchen is the only deity of The Kingdom of the Heaven of Unit Six. Gretchen does not get lonely as, lest you forgot, she is love. That includes the love of self.

No, really, I want to send you someone to keep you company.

The Kingdom of the Heaven of Unit Six is a magical place that does not exist on the prosaic plane of reality. It can only be found by those who already know where it is and have Jack Sparrow's compass. It is a higher state of being that cannot be reached by the Post Office, Fed Ex, DHL, and especially not by UPS (the scourge of the devil of the Kingdom of the Heaven of Unit Six upon them). So, no, you can't send me anyone to keep me company. Unless he is an attractive, single, heterosexual man who is good at giving foot rubs and likes to vacuum. Or Adrian Brody, regardless of his sexual orientation and foot-rubbing and vacuuming abilities.

I do, however, accept tributary offerings of shiny things by mail. I received the below recently.

Blessings unto the offeree.

1 comment:

CiCi- Cecilia C said...

Gretchen needs no one, no companion to rule supreme- one mistress & no master. She is the omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent & most importantly single MONOTHEIST goddess of heaven.

Book of CiCi- chapter one, verse one